What Do Bowie, Britney, Janet and Jay-Z Have in Common? Shhh… It’s Personal.

The one thing you’ll almost—well, never—hear a music artist say when they’re promoting a new album is, “honestly, it’s pretty shitty. One of our worst.” Usually, but not always, you can tell a garbage-y album’s a-comin’ when the singer or rapper calls it their “most personal” one yet. Take it to the bank. Here are some examples of some music artists that dropped the “personal” bomb and what we assume (because we didn’t listen to any of them–well, except for Bowie) are terrible albums and what we assume (because we read very few of them) are the albums’ most personal lyrics:

Speaking about her 2013 self-titled album, singer Demi Lovato called “Demi probably my most personal album to date. I co-wrote almost every song and really poured my heart into it.”

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “I’m a bad-ass jumping off the moving train/I’m a Jane Bond, putting all them guys to shame.”

“This will be my most personal album to date in terms of talking about a lot of things that have gone on in my life and just really diving into who Chris Bridges is as a person,” Ludacris said referring to himself in the third person, speaking about his 2015 album Ludaversal.

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “Mix soda with the syrup/We be leaning like the Tower of Pisa/And if y’all don’t fuck with us/Then we don’t fuck with y’all either.”

“This is my most personal album,” said David Guetta, referring to 2014’s Listen. “I show my more vulnerable side.”

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “Honey you so shy/Baby you’re so young/I know you wanna try/Games with my tongue.”

Britney Spears tweeted about 2013’s Britney Jean: “Really excited 2 give u a taste of my new album… can’t wait 2 share what I’ve been working on. Going to be my most personal album ever :).”

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “You wanna hot body/You want a Bugatti/You want a Maserati/You better work bitch!”

“I personally was exhausted after doing the record cycle for that album,” Fall Out Boy’s Patrick Stump said of his band’s 2008 album Folie à Deux. “I had put so much into that record. It was probably my most personal album.”

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “If home is where the heart is/Then we’re all just fucked.”

“In regards to Evolution,” said German DJ Paul van Dyk, “all I can say is that people that know me say that it’s my most personal album, my most intense album and also the best music I’ve ever done.”

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “Over and over until my heart stops beating/Hour and hour until my legs stop beating.”

“‘Human is my most personal album to date,” said Brandy of her 2008 album. “I have grown so much since my last album.”

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “Don’t tell me I can’t build Rome in a day just ’cause they couldn’t do it.”

“It is my most personal album to date and I have created my own sound, blending country, rock and blues to make my own kind of country music,” said LeAnn Rimes of her 2007 album Family. “I feel not only did I write my story but I wrote a lot of other people’s, too.”

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “Butter on the skillet, whiskey in a glass/To start a flame you’ve gotta light a match.”

“God’s Son is my most personal album and I poured my heart and spirit into it,” said rapper Nas of his 2002 album.

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “Bitches even nastier/They throw at your boy and it’s hard for me to pass it up/Freaky hoes lick a nigga’s ass and nuts.”

“It’s probably my most personal album in a long, long time,” Neil Diamond said of 2001’s Three Chord Opera. “I knew I wanted to write all of it myself, because I had a lot I wanted to say.”

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “I’ve been high, I’ve been low/But there’s one thing I know/There’s a lot to give/When we give to each other.”

“It’s my most personal album yet,” Jay-Z said of 2000’s Roc La Familia: The Dynasty. “It’s my therapy.”

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “I’m raised off one rule/Never get caught slippin’/That’s why I eat, sleep, shit with my gat/Bag up, take a piss, fuck a bitch with my gat.”

“It’s my most personal album so far in a lyrical sense,” said singer Robbie Williams of 2000’s Sing When You’re Winning.

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “Singin’ in the classes/Music for your masses/Give no head/No backstage passes.”

“The Velvet Rope is my most personal album,” said Janet Jackson of her 1998 album. “When I’m asked how long it took to develop the album, I say ’31 years.’ My lifetime.”

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “I’m getting freaked from behind/I don’t even mind/’Cause he’s looking damn fine.”

“I think this new album is probably my most personal album ever,” David Bowie said of 1993’s Black Tie White Noise. “It’s like about four years of indifference in the ’80s are over for me.”

What we’re assuming is the album’s most personal lyric: “Getting my facts from a Benneton ad/Lookin’ through African eyes/Lit by the glare of an L.A. fire, black tie white noise.”